Today I felt  dumbfounded and somewhat uninspired on what to write for this post. After a conversation with a friend who is beginning to blog himself, I began to wonder whether I was uninspired or unwilling to open up more. The topic of posting personal issues was a main piece of conversation. How much of myself am I willing to reveal to anyone and everyone reading this? The “My Greatest Enemy…” project is beginning to test how much I will share with literally everyone.

Beyond attempting to create a better understanding of myself by removing my inner evils I hope to divulge my true self to those I care about. This is not the first time I have attempted to remove these evils from my life. Often times I would last a couple days or weeks and succumb to temptation without creating an understanding of a better me. The last time I attempted to quit smoking weed I was lucky to meet someone who I connected to instantly. My mind was clear and I was able to develop a relationship with genuine emotions and feelings. Two weeks went by and we became infinitely closer. But then somewhere I slipped up and succumbed to “d’evils”. The smoke slowly clouded my judgment and affected how I was able to interact with not just this person but everyone I cared for and everything I did. My decision making skills deteriorated and confusion filled my brain yet again. My ineffectiveness to be productive became evident. I felt trapped in a figurative purgatory, where everything I had been working on became lost in translation. I displaced the feelings of entrapment onto the most natural and only thing right in my life at the time; the relationship. Without warning I became a person I was not. Ignoring my feelings, avoiding everything and focusing solely on my work attempting to regain the momentum I had before.

With this “My Greatest Enemy…” project I have become much more introspective into myself and my actions. Going on day 4 my mind has become much more clear. After reflecting on my actions I came to the realization that the problem never was the relationship at all, it was yet again the reflection in the mirror.

I’m sorry.

Productivity- Today wasn’t the most productive day I’ve had nor was it unproductive but I want to strive for more tomorrow.

Creativity- I’ve been writing a bit more and pretty happy with what I have been coming up with.

Mindstate- Continually more clear day by day.

Temptation- Went through a McDonald’s drive through(ordered nothing) and sat by while watching friends smoke today. The cravings were there but the introspective benefits I have been feeling from the project seem to be keeping me from succumbing to my evils.